You know in those penguin documentaries (i.e. March of the Penguins) or pretty much any movie involving penguins where they just have to go through the mating process (apparently that’s the most interesting thing penguins do?) they always mention “oh, and each year, there are fewer and fewer females without a mate, because all the males die walking back to the beach or wherever penguins go when they’re finished mating.”  Except in the human world it’s like “oh, there are more and more irrationally pretty girls, and fewer truly attractive men.  Sorry, bros.”

I am the leftover female penguins.