I think the ~cool thing right now is “Tumblr Fame*,” but a couple years ago I can still remember trying to get Yahoo! Answers famous. But it was much more demanding because there was a 20 question cap per day, and so had to keep coming back every day to get to TOP CONTRIBUTOR level, and  then I got irrationally jealous when other children would answer questions because what if they got there before me.  Only I can be the pretty one.  I have 296 points; get out of the way, bitches.

Usually I stuck to questions like “Am i prety?!” or “shuld i red hary potter?” but then after those ran out you had to know something about either physics or sex so I would unintentionally troll with answers like “E=MC squared” or “penis goes in2 vagina, i think? don’t get prego!!!” and then act like I had just endowed everyone with All the Knowledge they ever needed to know.

*let me judge your life choices every time you do promos.  I will eat your soul.